What do I do?

If you think your girlfriend is pregnant, you probably have a lot of questions and concerns: are you financially responsible? Perhaps she wasn't your girlfriend, or you weren't ready to be a father, yet.  You have not ruined the rest of your life, but you have changed your life and her life forever, and you have created an opportunity to demonstrate responsibility and maturity.

Catholic Charities can help. We have resources and information that specifically address your needs as a man. We can provide you with accurate information and practical support regarding issues such as:
    • Pregnancy options
    • Rights and responsibilities of fathers
    • How to become an effective father
    • Establishing paternity
    • Sexually transmitted diseases
    • How to support the baby's mother
    • Continuing your education
 ​Right now, it's important for you to take your time. Ask questions, get information, and explore your options. At Catholic Charities, we can answer questions and give you information and resources so that you can make the best decision for everyone involved. All of our services are free and totally confidential.

The Do's

  • Listen - There are now three people involved in this situation: you and her, and the unborn child who needs both of you. Regardless of your relationship with her now, and in the future, you are both the parents of this unborn child and you'll need to be able to communicate with each other for the child's sake. If you listen to her, she will be more likely to listen to you.
  • Talk about it - In addition to talking with each other, prepare to talk to parents, and others close to the situation who can help and support you.  Offer to go with her to tell her parents the news. It may take courage to start the conversation, but it's better than hiding the situation, which will only increase your stress and tension. 
  • Be honest, but also be supportive - You may feel angry, frustrated and afraid. These are normal feelings and it's healthy to express them. At the same time, she also really needs your support right now, and it's important to allow her to express her feelings, and to let her know that she is not alone; let her know that you'll be there for her.
  • Get the facts - Take your time and get all the information you need in order to make the best decision for both of you. Find knowledgeable people who can help and guide you; ask questions, and explore all of your options before you make any important or life-changing decisions.

The Don'ts

  • Don't bail - Don't walk or run away. As long as you stay involved, you'll have an opportunity to be involved in the decisions and outcomes of this situation. 
  • Don't pressure - Pressuring her may push her away. Be supportive, and try to work together as a team to determine the best plan for her, for you, and for the baby.